Horoscopes.
To be perfectly honest I’m bored of ye old film reviews. Takes all the fun out of watching them 
So…for your daily randomness boost. Have your horoscope, curtsey of Boop enterprises
Capricon:Ohh you horny little goat you! Saturns big ol’ nose is in your relationships this week, so make sure you keep secrets to yourself or you may find yourself making enemies. A clever Libra is eyeing you over, take things slow and make sure you know what your getting yourself into. You never know what they have in store for you…
Aries:Cheer up you miserable bugger! It’s been a long week, so relax and take your mind off things with a long bath. Suprisingly, be it teachers or collegues not everyone is out to get you. Though saying this, watch out for PMS suffering Gemini’s… those bitches WILL have you spit roasting on an open fire if you don’t pay them enough attention.
Libra:You’ll find love in a red-shoed Aquarius. Don’t pluck your eyebrows today, Venus is out of place and knowing your bad aim you will pluck out your cornea’s…Nows the time to take that trip. Put everything on hold and start the car, for you’ll have the best time in a car full of cheap vodka, crackers and your best friends.
Saggittarius: Your crying out for attention and yet still no one is answering. My advice? Give up. Men/Woman just find you too much to handle right now, so don’t blame that big arse or overhang and screw the diet. The internet is a readily available source for porn or mail order brides/grooms if things really do get too much to take…
Taurus:For goodness sake stop day dreaming! Demon pigeons from Pluto arn’t going to cause you trouble this week, though an envious friend may stitch you up well and proper.Keep your shoes tied, for a casually dressed cancerian will give new meaning to the phrase “Falling at their feet”…
Piscies: Your friends are planning something, so be on your toes. Don’t let that guard of yours down, a new relationship is coming your way and you’ll need all your wit and charm to crack this one. Whether it be a new aquintance or a potential partner, treat him/her with care. They may come with baggage…
Scorpio:As usual you looking amazing, but don’t get big headed, an ego is the biggest turn off you can get. Though your more likely to be blown off by a certain pissed off Taurus. They don’t call them bulls for no reason so keep smart and maybe you’ll avoid the whole bone up arse thing…
Cancer:Keep the pot smoking down this week. The police are more vigilent due to a snappy Aquarius, and won’t ignore the endless stream of smoke flowing from your bedroom window anymore. Go cold turkey in more ways than one until the coast is clear. Look on the bright side, now you have more time to spend with that special Virgo.
Leo: Its time for some sun sand and sea so pack your bucket and spade and head off to the sun. Leave blackpool out this year, the trannies and “originals” are out in throngs and unless you want a head full of pink lice you’ll do best to steer clear…
Aquarius: Holy crap! Calm downnnnn. The world isn’t caving in cause’ of problems at home. Just get out of the house, preferably get drunk and have sex with the nearest lampost. If all else fails rely on your closest friend, no doubt they have strippers on speed dial and all the boys/girls on hand…
Gemini: Your feeling deflated this week so take some time off and visit the farm. The quiet atmosphere and smell of cow shit will surely stir up some memories. Remember to bring a picnic, the farm hands may be hungry, but they’re also very tasty indeed. So unless your not fond of rolicking amoungst the hay, prepare yourself for a steamy no commitment weekend…
Virgo: No matter what that know all of a friend says, chopped pineapple does nothing for hives. So lay off the spikyness before you give yourself a rash. Your more likely to find results in a visit to your local Gynacologist, so book quickly and lay off the naughtyness for the week if you don’t want an unexpected suprise at the end…
Sorry…got bored at the end lol…. they are all mainly piss takes. xxx
